Roadrunner vs Rattlesnake


Southwest Texas is tough. Besides the extreme heat— we hit 99 degrees this year in February— there is the stifling humidity, despite almost constant drought. In February, 75 mph winds whipped up the dust and grit. We had to wear sunglasses at night and spit mud for days. Braden, a 7-year-old boy in our RV park said he spent the windy night screaming, positive the RV was about to tumble like a west Texas weed across the plain.

Last week, the afternoon hit a high of 87 degrees, then dropped into the 40s at night. Another officer and I had to escort a Mexican asylee to the hospital after fellow travelers inadvertently shoved her off a moving train. Snakes that had emerged prematurely from hibernation suddenly needed a warm place to sleep. Entering the ER through the ambulance entrance, we were surprised to encounter a five foot diamondback rattlesnake coiled against the warm brick wall.

There’s a saying that everything in Texas wants to bite you, stick you, sting you or poke you. Even the trees in south Texas seem hostile. The mesquite, with its pungent bark, adds for a sharp bite to the meat. The thorns on the branches are inches long. They penetrate ever sole manufactured, except hard rubber boots issued to Border Patrol, and of course, cowboy boots.

Interestingly, though, mesquite trees drop seed pods that not only make them the most prolific plant in the desert, but can also save a dehydrated soul. The pods can always be sucked of their life sustaining liquids, but when the pods turn red, they provide a juice sweeter than any soda.

Then there is the prickly pear, the cactus described in “The Streets of Laredo” as the treacherous flat cactus. It’s a mean, spiteful plant, but housed inside it’s prickly petals is water. Every desert animal will risk the ugly, poisonous thorns if they need water. Prickly pear yields a fruit, called cactus apples by old west cowboys, heartily consumed by modern Mexicans, who refer to them as “tunas.” For a year in recent history, we saw tunas shipped by the truck load to the eastern U.S. via the Mexican border because why? Mexicans swore that tunas could fight COVID. I believe it because the prickly pear petal is a fierce warrior against diabetes.

The scorpions, the snakes, the coyotes the bobcats, the mountain lions, the badgers— nothing will hurt you as much as the tarantula wasp. The wasp that paralyzes tarantulas to suck the juices from its abdomen, delivers the most painful sting a human can endure in the Americas. Yes we have them at the Turtle Ranch. No they don’t mess with humans, because as entomologists point out, they can already kick our ass all over the planet. Unless you initiate physical contact with a tarantula wasp, they will fly by.

Then there is the africanized bee, a species of honeybee that has evolved as a super territorial bee that can survive drought conditions and produce honey almost twice as fast as other bees. If you don’t mess with them on their territory, the bees won’t bother you. They can flit from flower to flower all around you without ever being bothered by your presence.

We usually find the black widow spider in cool shady places, like under a porch or in a stack of cinder blocks. They don’t strike unless poked. The brown recluse are indeed reclusive. I haven’t seen one at the ranch, but they are here. For a healthy adult, they pose no threat, but diabetics should stick to the walking trails. Scorpions hide almost universally under rocks. I’ve been bit by scorpions numerous times because I am constantly digging through piles of rock. For me is a quick sting, 20 minutes of numbness in the region, then return to normal.

Rattlesnakes sometimes bask on the roads.. A rattlesnake doesn’t wish to strike a human and makes it's presence clearly known. Simply back off and let them go about their business. Do not mistake a bull snake— same size and colors of a western diamond back— for a rattler. Bull snakes eat rodents and eggs, the same prey as rattlers, and imitate the diamond back’s rattle by hissing. They scare off rattlers with their majesty, raw girth, fatter than a big man’s bicep. Bull snakes are non-aggressive and non-venomous.

Black indigo is a snake so black that in sunlight it appears blue. I find it the most beautiful snake native to north America, thick and strong and rippling. They can grow to eight feet, are non-venomous, and live predominantly by eating rattlesnakes. We have only seen a few in 12 years, so if you see one, please, pull out your camera and shoot away.

The roadrunner, more dinosaur than bird, has no fear of humans. He/she is one of the best photo-ops you will get on the turtle ranch. Male and female are virtually indistinguishable by both plumage and behavior. We have invested hours watching mom and dad care for babies equally. They make awesome noises, loud trills, clucks. They kill and eat rattlesnakes in epic battles, where they seize the snake by its throat and slam the head against the ground repeatedly before swallowing the snake whole. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=raBdMWEyKmo

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